Suicide

I read Tan Soo-Inn's e-commentary this morning and decided to reproduce it here in full. As the article points out, suicide is always a taboo subject (both in churches and society-at-large) that we like to conveniently let it fly by. But the issue is real and there is a need to engage actively, as with a host of other issues (homosexuality, pre-marital pregnancies, abortion, to name a few).

May this article bless us and move us to give life to life.

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GRACE@WORK MAIL 16/10
April 23, 2010 Edition.
(Grace@Work Mail is a ministry of Graceworks: www.graceworks.com.sg)

Commentary: Another Suicide
By Soo-Inn Tan

Introduction
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Last week I received a message that a young person, capable, full of promise, her life ahead of her, had taken her own life. The method of choice in Singapore --- jump from a tall building. Although I didn't know her, I was overwhelmed with a deep sadness. It reminded me of the time when I was a dentist in charge of a team of school dental nurses. There was one nurse who was outstanding, far ahead of her peers. She was highly capable, friendly, with exceptional leadership abilities. I had no hesitation recommending her for promotion every time there was an evaluation exercise. I lost touch with her when I left dentistry to pursue theological studies. When I came back to Singapore years later, I asked about this nurse. I expected to hear that she had risen high in her profession. I was told that she had taken her life. She had climbed to a tall building, taken off her shoes and jumped. I was stunned. No one saw it coming. (Do we ever?) Did I mention she was a Christian?

Why do people take their lives?
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Why do people take their own lives? Gary R. Collins gives us a list of possible reasons:

*To escape from loneliness, hopelessness, depression, academic or work difficulties, financial pressures, or conflicts with other people.
*To punish survivors who are likely to feel hurt and guilty.
*To gain attention.
*To manipulate others (often this can best be accomplished by the threat of suicide.
*To join a loved one who has died.
*To escape from some difficult situation.
*To punish oneself for something that has created guilt.
*To prevent oneself from becoming a burden on others.
*To avoid the suffering and other effects of some dread disease.
(Christian Counselling 3rd Edition, Nashville, TX: Thomas Nelson, 2007, 651.)

Of course Collins is quick to point out that "Some of the reasons on this list are not very logical. There is no guarantee, for example, that suicide will enable the victim to join a deceased loved one. Gaining attention isn't very satisfying if the person is not present to enjoy the public reaction" (Collins, 651).

Is suicide an unpardonable sin?
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Understandably the church has taken a strong stand against suicide.

[We must understand suicide as free and uncoerced actions engaged in for the purpose of bringing about one's own death. Once we define it this way, it is easy to grasp the church's clear teaching throughout the centuries that suicide is morally wrong and ought never to be considered by the Christian. Life is a gift from God . . . Our lives belong to God; we are but stewards. To end my own life is to usurp the prerogative that is God's alone. (Thomas D Kennedy, "Suicide and the Silence of Scripture," http://www.ctlibrary.com/ct/2000/julyweb-only/42.0.html)]

Suicide is wrong but it is not an unpardonable sin. Kennedy moves on to say:

[If we define suicide as consisting of only free and uncoerced actions, we must ask a series of questions as we try to understand any particular suicide: To what extent do we know the suicide in question was genuinely free? Could pain (either physical or emotional) have coerced the individual to do what he otherwise might not have done? But even if we could know that an act of suicide was genuinely free, can we know that the aim of the act was indeed one's own death rather than a misguided cry for help? Can we know that the suicide believed this action would really kill?

These questions lead us to withhold judgment in many cases; but more telling yet is this question: Did the individual aim at removing himself from God's goodness by suicide? Was this an act of suicide directly aimed at saying no to God? Or was it rather a tragically misguided attempt at saying yes to God? Eternal punishment is reserved, Christians believe, for those who directly reject God and reject God as a consistent pattern in life, not merely in a solitary final act.
(Kennedy, "Suicide and the Silence of Scripture."]

Helping to prevent suicide
-------------------------------
However, it is not quite enough to clarify theologically that suicide is not an unpardonable sin. The more pressing question is: how to we help our people find the resources that will inoculate them against the temptation to take one's own life? I believe we need to do at least the following:
First, we need to give clear teaching on the subject. Suicide is one of a number of taboo subjects in most churches. We pretend that suicide is something that doesn't happen among believers. And when it happens we respond with theological discussions and quickly move on.

Second we need to help our folks understand and experience the "joy of the Spirit" (Galatians 5: 22) which is our birthright in Christ. We need to help people see that joy is something deeper and more resilient than emotional happiness, and that we can have joy even in the midst of tears because joy is a fruit of the Spirit, predicated on God's ultimate sovereignty and love, and on His commitment to make right a broken world.

Third the church must truly be a gracious community where it is safe to share our deepest pains and despair, a place where people listen lovingly and carefully, a place where you are accepted, pain and all, so that together we can seek the healing of God. Few churches I know are like that.

Fourth, we must ensure that we all walk through life with a few real friends, confidants with whom we share the joys and wounds of life (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12). I can't help but link the growing number of suicides, especially among the young, with the increasing loneliness of modern society. Dr. T Maniam, a Malaysian psychiatrist, comments on this trend:

[If 50 years ago the majority of people who attempted suicide were middle-aged, today the bulk has shifted. Sixty percent of those who attempt to do so worldwide are now under 40. While this is yet the case in Malaysia, Dr T Maniam of UKM said that the proportion of youths with suicidal tendencies is fast rising, with depression seeking ever younger targets. Chief of the factors behind this, he said, is the "epidemic of loneliness" brought on by a rise in urbanization, and exacerbated by the lack of quality in relationships. "Young people are more connected through technology, but virtual relationships are solitary pursuits," said the psychiatrist and medical researcher. (Christine Chan and Aidila Razak, "Those considering suicide more of younger age." Malaysiakini, 24th December, 2009.)

Are you walking thorough life with a few close friends? If you are, at least there are a few people who might "see it coming" if you ever turn suicidal, and have the opportunity to do something about it. But I fear most of us are walking though life, indeed following Jesus, alone.

Conclusion
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May the death of the girl who took her life last week be another voice in a growing chorus calling us to wake up to the despair of life, and to Hope.

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Minimum Wage

Malaysia currently does not have comprehensive laws on minimum wages. Wages are left to be determined by market forces. So we have plenty workers all over the country being employed for about average RM400-500 per month. This is very much below the generally-agreed basic cost of living of RM800 per month per individual in this country (and this is 2007 benchmark).

So in a low-wage economy, employers or business owners call the shots. With growing inflation, the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Selfishness and greed rears its ugly head in a liberal wage market.

A to Z of blessings

B

Bible: "Ancient words ever true, changing me & changing you." God's word, passed down through the ages, still as relevant as ever.

Books: I'm not much of a reader, but i've learnt the value of books as a great source of knowledge. Great companion when on the go too. Right now i'm reading two books, "Rex: A Mother, Her Autistic Child, And The Music That Transformed Their Lives" (Cathleen Lewis) and "Who Made God?: And Answers To Over 100 Other Tough Questions Of Faith" (Ravi Zacharias, Norman Geisler).

Basketball: 95% of my sports injuries were sustained while playing this beautiful game. Don't play much of this nowadays. Takde kaki la....

Badminton: This, i still have the pleasure of playing nowadays.

Butter cookies: Yummmm......

Bon Jovi: Great music from these great musicians. My favourite from them happens to start with "B" too, Blaze Of Glory.

Blogs: A good way to catch up on friends' and people's happenings and thoughts.

Bourne Trilogy of Movies: Jason Bourne (played by Matt Damon), part of the CIA's top secret "super agent" programme, loses his memory in an assignment gone wrong. It's 6 hours of Jason trying to make sense of things, traversing continents, finding out the truth in unconventional ways, breaking people's arms and necks, until he returns to where it all started and discovers his true identity. The three movies that make up this trilogy is Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum.

Burn Notice: The only tv series i'm following right now (given that i don't watch much tv). I do watch Criminal Minds too but i don't tail it as closely as i do this Burn Notice. The series revolves around a spy (yes i like spy thrillers) who got burned (or fired in common terms) for reasons unknown to him. He sets out to find out the truth of why he got burned while also keeping busy with interesting, and sometimes humourous, assignments of helping people (the man's gotta eat but there's also more to why he helps people, sometimes even for free). Joining him in his misadventures are his shoot-first-ask-questions-later ex-girlfriend, a beer-guzzling ex-Navy SEAL friend and smoke-like-a-chimney mum.

"Bottomline, until you figure out who burned you, you're not going anywhere" :)

Salib

"If you take CHRIST out of the CHRISTIAN, you're left with IAN, and Ian can't help you."
~ Michael Ramsden~

:-)

Been thinking about why Jesus had to die such an excruciating, mangled death. Why didn't He just die peacefully, maybe in a quiet room, comfortably on a bed? Just "cough cough", "wheeze wheeze", and go peacefully. Why did He have to be stripped, injured, ravaged, bloodied, mocked, made to suffer and left dangling shamefully on a cross?

Ravi Zacharias illustrated it very well when he said that it was like telling a drunkard to stop drinking, but wouldn't listen. Until one fine day, in his drunken stupor, he drives dangerously home and knocks over his own child playing in the driveway. Then he sees for himself what his drunkenness has done.

Jesus had to demonstrate to us that sin is bad, and the sooner we come to terms with that, the better. Sin destroys us and the people around us.

Or as I mentioned tongue-in-cheek to a friend recently, sin is like a good-looking person with a gun. They look good on the outside, but at the end of the day, they'll shoot you dead :P

It pains me when we not only justify our sins, but even boast about them. There's bragging about bedding a certain girl, or taking pleasure in another man's wife. Or committing a lesser crime of corruption for the sake of a so-called greater cause which in itself is also a crime.

Yet, down the road, you see those sins manifesting itself in such a real way in the form of broken families, severed relationships, people suffering and lives destroyed. Because sin destroys.

God understands this perfectly. I can't help but wonder that for a brief moment in history, even the Trinitarian relationship was broken when Jesus cried out "My Lord, My Lord, why have You forsaken Me?" So there! Because Jesus understood perfectly, He is able to save us perfectly!

No doubt, it's the hardest thing facing up to our sins. Repentance can be a painful process. Responses to the effect of "cannot la, I'm a hopeless case", "no point la, i'm gone case", etc etc etc crop up. It's hard, yes it's hard, to take an honest look at ourselves and see how we fall short when we stand before a God who demands nothing less than holiness and perfection.

But through Jesus Christ on the cross, what we get is forgiveness. A starting point from which renewal begins within when Jesus fills our lives, and the mending takes place. Without Jesus, we can't begin to make sense of things, find answers and fix the broken.

Jesus Christ's death on the cross is epic. That's why Good Friday is good. Blessed Good Friday everyone!

I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again
~Chris Tomlin~